a note before the zzz bug strikes

Back not too long ago from a half-day trip to JB with dad, uncle and 2 aunts. Went to Giants, Parkson, and ate good chinese seafood. Think my dad wanted to feed me well before I subject myself to a 2.5week western diet... wah.. I'd miss my papa. =P

Things are still strewn around quite a bit in my room. Haven't got around to finishing all that I wanted to. But it was good to bond with my beloved uncle and aunts. I'd have to get up early for a meeting tomorrow... Last trip to workplace before I fly. Hope to get things more or less in their places. =P.

It's gg to be a wee morning flight on Fri. Not sure if I'm gg zzz at all tomorrow nite. Perhaps I'd write in again. Hope the terrorists are not planning to hijack another UA flight on fri morning. =P *mass prayer*

before departure

woo... didn't realise it's been 4 days plus since last update. Hmmm, been spending the time preparing for trip (part-time fedex assistant for buddies in NY; buying last-min essentials and trying to pack; flying some more emails across continents to work out ways to move ard + get cheaper musical tics in NY... need to go library soon too, to borrow some story books to tide over long journey - can't keep reading work notes, otherwise may jump off plane). Also been meeting up with dept ppl to try and thrash out some plans for 2007... and catching up with some dear pals coz the next time i see them will be in late dec which is just a short way from the beginning of another mad new year. =P It's crazy. And my heart's beating away a bit irregularly, excited but also insecure. Happy but also worried. Positive feelings are mainly to do with the upcoming adventure, and negative feelings more to do with the uncertainty of next year. Eeks.

I will continue to write if i get hold of network access in NY.

Hectic Shiok

Loaded in 24 different albums into tweeny weeny zen neeon. =) And there's still way over 5GB of space in there! Yippee =).

And today I sat my bum down to (finally) draw out rough dept plans for next yr. Sent it in to big boss to take a look liao.. hopefully will work out. Not bad done for the day, given that it's another sneezy wheezy morning-afternoon. Super cold leh today.. rain rain rain.. Hmmm, but of course NY will be much freezier. 5 deg in day and minus 0 at night?! I CAN'T WAIT!! (Been spending past few days crazily working out travel schedule as well, with multiple emails flying cross continents - accom, places to visit, musicals to watch, frens to meet...) What a hectic shiok.

Btw Fish, I bought the NY pass liao. I'd call up ur mama tomorrow rdging stuff to fedex over.

architect creative_creative architect

Yelo. Just back half hr ago from holland v. My IE pal (G) tried to match-make his future bro-in-law (a physically rather attractive, single, male architect working in brisbane) to myself and another IE buddy (A) (both also rather attractive singles, slogging for govt). I'd say there's a higher chance of dev btw him & A, coz they are both so much more ang moh. Me, I'd think we'd be staying as just frens. It is with episodes like this that make u wonder again how amazing, with some ppl you can just connect, and appreciate very much more, those who do connect with us.

Oh, i did something exciting (or at least it is to me) today. I paid my first homage to Mr Sim WH's Creative Fair (25th years anni - gosh, has it been ard for that long?!) And left with a Zen Neeon 6GB MP3 (to tide myself over the 7hr flight w/o in-house entertainment - first half of journey to NY), as well as a pair of webcams and a headset for dad. Became Creative's cardmember in under 2hrs. Ha, got a couple of lucky draw coupons too. Who knows, I may very well win the top prize - Mr Sim's Lexus (blah). Thankfully, the crowd wasn't mad today. Not so many ppl that you'd want to run for the fire exit. And they are definitely well-behaved aka queue-abiding, so it's good. Am happy with my new toy. Charging it now so that it'd be ready to be loaded up with nice songs tomorw. =)

Zen...

Photo Hunt

Finally laid my hands on a working functional multi-card reader, so here's some of the photos that are long overdue!


Wolf with his hatch-day cake


Within the Esplanade Library


Where I had the yummy banana milkshake while counting down to "Forbidden City"...


With those kiddos who gave me a big box of fruits on the last day of formal lessons...


Amongst them are some with scribbled writings of their appreciation & promises to deliver results.. *sob*


@ Vivo City - supposedly our largest shopping mall


With its weird traffic-controller/direction-pointer...


The peanut-butter-choc cookies that emerged from my oven


And here's the cornflake ones...


@ Palawan with IE pals

On a tue afternoon...

Good riddance. Till 365 days later. Finished the brain-draining meetings liao. Now is time to retreat into some quiet corner and update the reports plus plan for the coming year...

Met up with some study trip ppl for dinner yest @ Demsey's hut. Good to see some of them after so long, but just worried that over time, the conversations may stagnate around the same few topics and there'd no longer be as much an enthusiasm to meet up and catch up anymore (since majority of them are from same branch and I'm the odd one out from sch). Or maybe I'm just worrying too much again. =P

And anyways, if things ramble along the way as they are, the situation with JL may also gradually cool off. I think I am too serious a person for him, and he's too occupied (with his own stuff) and laid-back (to pursue progress) a person for me, despite the fact that we enjoyed each other's company while we are at it. An impatient perfectionist talking again, no doubt.

Twds 2007.

the consensus meeting...

Brain drain… After hours of verbal bombardment, the brain has gone into coma. You can literally see colour draining out of the committee members' faces, and life ebbing out of the physical bodies as minutes tick by… What do you expect, when the daily congregation begins at 8.30am and does not end before the clock strikes 5.30pm. We are into our 2nd day, and it doesn't look like it's going to end soon. Some are already way lost in the maze of words and the ear flaps have permanently closed. Dialogue has transited from multi-logue to monologue. The gaze of many has become unfocused, lost in some twilight zone. Plus the coffee in the flask has turned stale and the skin of the ang ku kueh has hardened..

We will be progressing into our 3rd round come next Mon. This consensus exercise is an annual pilgrimage. A necessary evil?

time and tide waits for no man

Weird. I'm not quite sure where the time has gone, but I thought the mth of Nov has only just started, yet we are now already smacked in the middle of it all - 15th! Gosh... where has all the flowers gone? In my original action plan, I should have finished working out my future action plans and be getting ready to sit back and recharge for the new year.. apparently it wasn't meant to be, I am not even a whisker close. In any case, I reckon my brain and heart battery would only be able to tolerate one more round of boo-doo before a new environment must be seeked. I thrive on diversity perhaps. And once stagnation sets in (can be in terms of actual tasks or the perception that there is no way to change a certain idea/culture), the legs will move. For sanity.

I must somehow, anyhow get something done up before UA takes me to NYC. The last thing I'd wanna do is to drain my brain during this long-distance chillout period.. =P

Outta the Pocket!!

Damn... The GST is going to be raised from 5% to 7% from next year onwards!!!!

I can't believe it. Forget about the one-time payout to help "ease burden". We are looking at long-term donation of an extra 2% in every piece of item and every episode of 'service' (if you call it so) that we buy/experience! And that's going to build up into some kinda Himalayas.. =(

What's the backlash? Perhaps for the super-disciplined, they would shut themselves indoors and not patronize the malls, cafes, spas etc etc. And if this population of super-disciplined is significant enough, perhaps the vibrancy of economy would be affected bad enough to trigger the next recession?!!

Blah.

CoLOrGeNiCs

Check this out. http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

It's some "colorgenics" programme that indicates one's mental make-up and mood @ a particular moment in time by analyzing how one responds to specific frequencies within the colour spectrum... It takes only a min to select the colours but the resulting analysis was pretty detailed and accurate. Have a go, with a pinch of buttery salt, if you wish. =)

Here's mine, done at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon:

"You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.

You feel utterly wretched - worn out. The demands that other people have been making on you have depleted your strength and stamina. You feel powerless to try to remedy the situation on your own and you are looking for what is hopefully known as 'divine intervention'. But be assured your salvation lies in yourself - you have the ability so use it."

cyclical M

Met up with soon-to-be-conferred-PhD pseudo bro for some last min-arranged kopi. He's looking leaner and also less oily on the face. 8 mths in Baltimore has done him some good at least in this physical sense. Still the same old comfy feeling as we exchanged updates. Hmmm, actually he talked more, I did most of the listening (not that I really minded tonite I guess). Anyways, congrats on clearing the viva bro, if you somehow are reading this now. See u in NYC.

Today's huge thunderstorm brought the temp down to a chilly low, superb for zzz. PSI's also plummeted to a feeble 28. Great.

A buddy coined this term 'cyclical motivation'. I loved it. Whatever it is, life goes on I guess. Just hope I do not grow into some grouchy old woman. Goodnight.

melodious run

Superstar's back! Yeah. =) I'm usually not a tv die-hard (save for da chang jin + few other rare gems) but this sing-song competition is really un-missable, esp when it is said that the standard for this batch surpasses the previous. Holy ground.

Today's the first episode, showcasing some hilarious highlights from the auditions. 6000+ wannabes shaved down to just 40! Some really CMI, but I applaud their courage, to come in pyjamas-like get-up, then pierce the air with their frightful off-pitch sing-song, and it's in front of national tv audience somemore! Wow, simply... not something anyone/everyone could have done. Brave with a capital 'B'. =P Those who have successfully elbowed their way into the top 40, some of them are very advantaged in the 'looks' department. And the cherry topping the ice-cream is that they are blessed with super power vocals too.. Hmmm, talk about equality in life eh.

Can't wait for the next episode.

Weekday Escapade

Today, my daily horoscope reads:

'It's time to lighten up. You've been spending so much time on practical and weighty matters that you've forgotten to make time for the finer things in life."

And so I did. Perhaps it's the busted light bulb, or perhaps it's the semi-functioning air-conditioning unit in the office.. But it was reason enough to induce an escalating feeling of down & repulsion, so off I trooped to meet my nie pals. Escaped to the southern isle, home to our 2nd IR & super high-end beachfront living... a hideout that we haven't visited tog since eons (~1.5 yrs?).

It was absolutely calming to bake under the warm sun and feel the sea breeze on our faces (amazingly, no aftern rain today). To lie on the sand & nap with nary a care in the world. To talk nonsense and sip canned coconut juice. To people watch and wait for sun set, then night fall. To have lunch @ 3pm, then dinner @ 10pm.

Lunch was a hasty but delicious affair - 3 famished souls wolfing down packeted nasi lemak at the outdoor coffee bean seats at Tram Station, washed down with cough-syrup-like house iced tea. Dinner was a leisurely yet again delicious affair @ Lau Pa Sat - teh terik with chic & mutton satay, sambal sting ray, honey bbq chic wings and sotong fritters. It's been quite a while since we've really had this relaxing a time. Such spontaneity is a common fixture during our IE days, but ever since the institutions took us in, the energy level had never been quite high enough to sustain such just-in-time, keep-sane activities.

A bag of work brought to isle. A bag of work returned untouched. But I'm not bothered. It had been a much needed (tho' not really planned for) break. I feel like a small battery's recharged. Tomorrow, I'd hide in some quiet corner and get down to do my work diligently. I hope no one comes disturb me..

make, keep, break

It has always been quite easy for me to make friends. Some say it's becoz I have an outgoing, cheerful and sincere personality, am a good listener who empathizes well, and can take jokes/ribbing goodnaturedly. I perhaps am what they say. But of course, there's also the sadder, darker, quieter, more aloof side of me that some of you know (or caught glimpses of thru this blog).

And I am starting to think about something else - I perhaps cannot keep friends as well as I'd like to. Huh? U might ask. Yeps, u've read me right.

Well, recently had a conversation with an overseas pal who was "chilled to the bone" by the 'exasperation' in the online conversation we had about friendship - communication needs/methods/objectives, personal space, pre-conceived judgements etc. It was a heavy exchange that set both of us off on a reflection mode..

Now, this is a complex issue to talk about, esp in written form, so I'm not even trying to sort it all out right here (plus there's probably no rights or wrongs at the end of it all).. just taking it as an avenue to think aloud. =P.

It's not that I do not have close pals who'd be willing to drop all their stuff in a sec and rush over in times of need. It's just that I think I may have even more of them if I'm willing to be (1) more aggressive in the maintenance of buddyship (instead of leaving it mainly to faith & fate and the usual catch-ups thru sms/email/call/kopi/dinner/movie), and (2) more accepting of alternative deepset beliefs and behaviours that happen to clash with my own deepset ideologies (one close pal says that sometimes, I hold on too strongly to my own principles and views of right & wrong, and subconciously, gradually 'shut' out those who do not share my notions..)

I think.. I am generally an easy-going character, willing and able to accept a great diversity of personalities and opinions (in fact, I thrive on diversity in many aspects), and I definitely respect people's wish to have their private space & time (much as I expect them to give me mine).. but I also agree, there are some areas which are rather clear-cut 'little compromise' zones.. and when disagreements sprout in these regions, I have little hesitation rooting my own stand..

Having clear definitions helps one make decisions easily in life and sleep better at night. But I guess it also does considerable harm to some friendships/relationships..

Still in reflection.

Notre Dame

4 Nov 2006, Sat, 1am

4th outing with JL. Our 2nd musical together (hmmm, next time we shd try something else). This time, we went to the opening night of the French musical - Notre Dame de Paris. He's received a pair of complimentary tics, so off we trooped. The first meeting after his 2.5 chillout weeks in cowboy land.

Good to see him again, just that the evening kept getting interrupted by multiple calls and sms-es from some aggressive kiddo mama who seemed all ready to jump into the boxing ring. Haiz, even had to talk to Big Boss as well, while huddled in some toilet in S'pore Indoor Stadium. =( I wonder why ppl had to make other ppl's lives miserable. "Ben(3) shi(4) tong(2) gen(1) sheng(1)", is it not?

Well, the entire musical's in French. Great songs but the screens showing the subtitles.. cannot make it. Too far away and font's definitely way(X 10) too small. Quite a handful in the audience walked out @ intermission and never returned.. But we stayed for the great music and the pretty solid male (Quasimodo) and female (Esmeralda) leads. Such powerful, expressive vocals they have (tho' we dunno what they are singing abt)!

This time too, we did talked more about the sets, songs etc. And we also did go for kopi after the perf. So that's good. Just that we are both already pretty zonked out after a full day's work to be more chatty and spontaneous as can be. But yeah, no complaints. And importantly, I appreciate his patience throughout the sms-calls episode. I'd probably have been quite turned off if roles were reversed.

A night to rest

Whewz... Yeps, that annual institution-wide report-writing is coming to an end soon. I don't think anyone can take very many more 6hr-meetings like the one we had today. =P At least I tried to make the process less painful by bringing in a kettle of strong kopi, a 'koup-ed' tuperware of kueh lapis, a plate of canteen cheesy sausages and some illegal grapefruit-flavored chewing gum from Hong Kong. =P Sighz, after all the reports, there's still that consensus discussions coming up next week. *dionk*

Hmmm, it's been a while since last msg from JL. Wonder if he's been giving thoughts to moi. And it's also been some time since last heard from NY dodo - hey, if you are reading this now, remember to check ur hotmail. Not stuck in some cold war are we? U take care.

One mth from now, I'd be outta hazy land! *Hiak hiak hiak hiak* =)