And so the haze has cleared. Both literally and figuratively. What a relief!
It's always painful when there's tension between loved ones, and I'm glad the struggle is over. Through this episode, I have learnt that (i) giving in does not equate to having lost, that (ii) at the end of the day, mutual happiness far outweighs one-sided joy, and that (iii) in the sacred instituition of marriage, the fine art of give-and-take must be practised often and skilfully in order for the flame of love to continue burning brightly.
Emotionally, we now appreciate each other even more. Monetarily, we managed to save a significant bit for more practical use. Outcome-wise, with the due diligence put into research and a touch of good luck & timing, we managed to score a quality deal that offers just as much, if not more. It turned out to be a win-win situation afterall.
It's been tedious navigating through the haze, but we made it out and have become stronger because of it. When faced with future haze outbreaks, I'd be sure to remember the lessons learnt thus far.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Past Week
20 Oct 2010 (Wed)
On a down day like this, looking at family pics brings tears to my eyes and a lump to the throat. While I feel blessed to be born into a loving family, the raw pain of separation is something to contend with. 5.5yrs down the road, I still miss my mum - and I’m glad I do, for otherwise how cold and heartless a creature I must have turned into?
When others turn their backs on me, she’d be around. She may not have high educational qualifications, but she has great common sense and social grace. She may demand for time and attention, but she’d always willingly gives more than she receives. There are, up to now, just a couple of regrets in my life, and one of them is my failure to provide more for her when she was around. As a beginning salarygirl, I worked too hard and earned too little back then. While recognition and opportunities may come my way, at the end of the day, I guess it’s just not worth it.
Thankfully, dad is still around, and pray, may that be so for many more years to come. I wonder what I'd do without him.
21 Oct 2010 (Thur)
Caught up with my good old fish pal again, this time over Korean authenticities. As usual, it was a totally comforting chat, though over not-so-comforting issues. I'm deeply appreciative of the fact that, despite having to battle her own demons, she's ever willing to listen and share the load. And the fact that she can see both perspectives and offers advice in her usual straightforward, non-patronising and non-judgemental style makes her a god's gift, particularly during bleak times. Coincidental as it may be, she is always somehow around at the right time. Perhaps our fates are interwinned. And may it remain so for a long time to come, in wherever lands we end up being.
23 Oct 2010 (Sat)
After 5 days of non-communication, the ice was finally broken yesterday evening. The issue was yet resolved but the breaking of ice was a big reliver. For someone whose language of love looks to be words (spoken or written), total news blackout is a real torture, something that shakes faith and causes sad loss of sanity. Love is such a double-edged sword. It has the capacity to elevate you to unfathomable heights of sweet passion, yet is also capable of plunging you into the deep abyss of pain and disappointment. Does this mean then, that one should retreat into hermit's hole in order to protect oneself? Pain aside, I think otherwise. If one has not experienced the different intensities of emotions - of happiness and sadness, of separation and unification, - one would have lived a life of a straight line. Completely safe and, perhaps, completely incomplete. So step out there, and do what the heart beckons. May the haze (pun intended) clears soon.
On a down day like this, looking at family pics brings tears to my eyes and a lump to the throat. While I feel blessed to be born into a loving family, the raw pain of separation is something to contend with. 5.5yrs down the road, I still miss my mum - and I’m glad I do, for otherwise how cold and heartless a creature I must have turned into?
When others turn their backs on me, she’d be around. She may not have high educational qualifications, but she has great common sense and social grace. She may demand for time and attention, but she’d always willingly gives more than she receives. There are, up to now, just a couple of regrets in my life, and one of them is my failure to provide more for her when she was around. As a beginning salarygirl, I worked too hard and earned too little back then. While recognition and opportunities may come my way, at the end of the day, I guess it’s just not worth it.
Thankfully, dad is still around, and pray, may that be so for many more years to come. I wonder what I'd do without him.
21 Oct 2010 (Thur)
Caught up with my good old fish pal again, this time over Korean authenticities. As usual, it was a totally comforting chat, though over not-so-comforting issues. I'm deeply appreciative of the fact that, despite having to battle her own demons, she's ever willing to listen and share the load. And the fact that she can see both perspectives and offers advice in her usual straightforward, non-patronising and non-judgemental style makes her a god's gift, particularly during bleak times. Coincidental as it may be, she is always somehow around at the right time. Perhaps our fates are interwinned. And may it remain so for a long time to come, in wherever lands we end up being.
23 Oct 2010 (Sat)
After 5 days of non-communication, the ice was finally broken yesterday evening. The issue was yet resolved but the breaking of ice was a big reliver. For someone whose language of love looks to be words (spoken or written), total news blackout is a real torture, something that shakes faith and causes sad loss of sanity. Love is such a double-edged sword. It has the capacity to elevate you to unfathomable heights of sweet passion, yet is also capable of plunging you into the deep abyss of pain and disappointment. Does this mean then, that one should retreat into hermit's hole in order to protect oneself? Pain aside, I think otherwise. If one has not experienced the different intensities of emotions - of happiness and sadness, of separation and unification, - one would have lived a life of a straight line. Completely safe and, perhaps, completely incomplete. So step out there, and do what the heart beckons. May the haze (pun intended) clears soon.
Friday, October 08, 2010
As to what may happen next
And the Board of Governors of one particular A family must be wondering just when it'd all end. What a busy busy year this has been for them, first the rugby brawl on field, then the fist fight at bus stop, next a shocking resignation by its high-profile leader, and now some steamy underaged in-toilet video... with all given prime coverage in the daily papers. Oh dear...
Just what may happen next?! =P
Just what may happen next?! =P
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Blackbird
It didn't feel like it's been that long since I last stepped into SRT, but I just can't recall what my last play had been. Hmmm.... Am quite sure it's not the PillowMan. Was it Macbeth? Or Midsummer Night's Dream? Or what?? Argh.
Anyways, the 1.5hr act proved pretty intense... The acting by Emma Yong was wonderful, almost painful to watch. Daniel Jenkins was alrights, not disappointing but not outstanding either. This play, about a suffocating, illicit relationship between a 40yr old man and a 12yr old child, one that paralyzes them even after a gap of 15yrs, is disturbing but not to the extent of nightmare-inducing.
I would imagine there are all sorts of relationships and dynamics happening in various parts of our complex world. Life, may or may not be simply a matter of personal choice.
Anyways, the 1.5hr act proved pretty intense... The acting by Emma Yong was wonderful, almost painful to watch. Daniel Jenkins was alrights, not disappointing but not outstanding either. This play, about a suffocating, illicit relationship between a 40yr old man and a 12yr old child, one that paralyzes them even after a gap of 15yrs, is disturbing but not to the extent of nightmare-inducing.
I would imagine there are all sorts of relationships and dynamics happening in various parts of our complex world. Life, may or may not be simply a matter of personal choice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)