Morale

Morale... as defined by Wordnet = 'A state of individual psychological well-being based upon a sense of confidence and usefulness and purpose.'

And according to American Heritage Dictionary - 'The state of the spirits of a person or group as exhibited by confidence, cheerfulness, discipline, and willingness to perform assigned tasks.'

A period of low morale.

Recently picked up from a course - To break out of any negative, reinforcing loop (aka vicious cycle) and work towards win-win, one needs to diagnose and then address the root cause, rather than prescribe quick-fix medication to shoo away surface symptoms.

I am becoming increasingly resigned to the fact that the root cause lies outside of my circle of influence. And this acknowledgement has taken so long to set in mainly because of the stubborn refusal to:
- let injustice triump without a fight
- be a automatic, blanket cynic
- apply varnish and practise taiji

Each time a situation occurs, the morale gets chipped a little and one starts to question the purpose of all the time and effort. If empathy and affirmation isn't forthcoming, one draws from accumulated reserves of self-confidence, motivation and sense of purpose. But... even the hardest rocks disintegrates under the erosive action of abrasive waves over time.

There is an increasingly urgent need to break out of the vicious cycle at the point where one's circle of influence ends. As for the rest, I'd leave it to the Heavens, and the Karma mystic.

Countdown

Terrible period.

Almost everyone's temper is frayed/fraying.

So near the D-Day(s), yet many things are still in the process of "being finalized". It's little wonder that people jump at people/things... Even the usually calm ones are losing it.

Not a very pleasant experience at all.

Sausages - British Style!

Even though it has been sitting in the village for the past ~3mths, the rather staid decor doesn't scream 'Welcome'. So it had to take a newspaper feature to tempt me into giving it a try, and boy, it was a nice yummy suprise!

Check it out if you haven't:



A British eatery that serves up wonderfully juicy, char-grilled, jumbo sausages (choose from lamb, herbed pork, cheesed pork, beef), with a huge dollop of sinfully delicious, chunky, homemade mash. Go for the corriander + chilli mash - sure to give u a kick! Or check out the rosemary + onion version if u are in a more adventurous option. Otherwise, you can always settle for the 'regular' Monster Mash.

Besides bangers & mash, the Fish & Chips is also yummilicious. 2 generous slabs of fresh, battered (not breaded - thank goodness) fish garnished with a bed of thick chips. Satisfies the palate!

Our gang of 3 also checked out the recommended dessert - toffee pudding with custard hot sauce.. Hmmm, well, perhaps our expectations had been raised by the great mains, so I wouldn't say that the toffee dessert was especially memorable. Next time, I'd try the apple crumble.

Feel free to leave ur recommendation (for dessert) if u decide to check out MM in Holland V. Bon appetit!

p.s. oh, customers can also doodle on their paper-covered table - crayons provided. And if you are lucky enough to be served by the ang moh boss (i assume he is the boss), enjoy the great warm service!

Crab and the King

And I hope to stay in for the rest of the week. 2 full work days at workplace, and I think that's quite enough. There is definitely still lots of backlog to clear, just that the venue is home sweet home. Crabs... are a homely lot.

And now, the home has the King. Durians - yippee. =) Bitter-sweet, dark yellow-fleshed, luscious fruit from Segamat, bought from Ghim Moh Market. It has been a long time. Now, if you will excuse me, the Crab has to go to the King.

A 12hr Recce

Yesterday, I spent 12 straight hrs (from 9.30am to 9.30pm) cosied up in a Suzuki Swift with 4 other colleagues. Zipped around the island, from west to east to central to everywhere (IMM, Botanic Gardens, Vivo, Sentosa, Tanah Merah, East Coast, Lau Pat Sat, Tiong Bahru, Marina Square, Esplanade, Merlion Park)... from sunshine to thunderstorm... from energetic to robotic.. what a siong recce trip.

I must say, it is indeed nan(2) de(2) that there was not a single quarrel throughout the recce roadtrip. I mean.. we definitely are not super close buddies to begin with, and when 5 full-grown adults had to stay in a sometimes-stuffy vehicle, rushing from destination to destination, with recce sheets of risk-assessment questions staring in our faces, and legs and spirit weary from the elements.. it's a wonder that we did not lose our patience with one another. On the contrary, there were quite a no. of memorable funny moments.

I sure hope things will all go smoothly when the real event kicks off in 2wks time. 3 days... I hope the kiddos stay safe and listen to instructions. We have contingency plans, and I hope they'd remain as just that - plans.

Rounding up the term

I experienced quite a trying episode this past week.

For the benefit of all parties, had to carry out damage control in a calm and rational manner... although there was quite a bit of indignance simmering at my own end. It was basically a case of fundamental personality differences and a misintepretation of messages as a result of different experiences, upbringing and self-image.. But yes, perhaps I had been wrong to use certain words/tone but no, there were definitely no underlying malicious intentions. In the days ahead, for as long as we are working so closely together, I would have to learn to be more sensitive to the needs and hopefully, the feedback (whether positive or negative) would come in a more forthcoming and constructive manner.

That aside, results were released yesterday. Kiddos did great in the 3 subjects, with percentage passes all above national ave and A-C grades making up a significant percentage (i'm not sure if this has happened before). Deservingly so, there were wide smiles and hearty back-slapping amongst relevant colleagues yesterday. As for me, I was definitely happy for the kiddos - hard work should be rewarded accordingly. But there was also an undeniable sense of stress too - the weighty thought of sustaining (and I'm not even talking about exceeding) the starry performance for this coming year.. Ah well.. one step at a time I guess. I must remember to breathe.

Alrights, am sure looking forward to this one wk term break ahead. Need the time to clear the mind, work out some plans, and clear some backlog. Also need the space to do some self-rejuvenation and nourish the soul a bit. To a smooth remaining 3/4 yr ahead.

Just thinking... and feeling

I) After 2+yrs on the job, I find myself:

- calmer under pressure
- more able to draw the line between work and after-work
- more wary of potential pitholes
- more sensitive to purposeful acts of gloss
- more willing/able to let go of ppl/issues whom/that I feel may not matter after 5yrs
- as strong-opinionated as ever when it comes to fundamental beliefs/guiding principles
- as less tolerant as ever towards the deceitful and arrogant
- occasionally worried about the prospect of ending up as a lonely spinster

Recently, I found myself frustrated when someone came across as being
- unwilling to let go of past responsibilities and ways of doing things
- unwilling to listen to/learn from experiences of those-who-have-been-thru'-similar-journeys
- unwilling to constructively discuss matters that disturb oneself, choosing instead to broadcast in unproductive ways
- unwilling to look inward, choosing instead to magnify others' lapses
Call me biased, but I think it takes 2 hands to clap... Be less of a judger and more of a learner - this, I shall try my best to bear in mind as I chug along the path of growth. Magnanimity and humility are amongst God's/Buddha's greatest gifts.

II) And they announced the extension of smoking ban to playgrounds, lift lobbies etc. I'd give it 6mths before things revert back to norm (or near norm). Just look at the coffeeshops. For a while, when the inspection officers went on regular rounds, smokers stayed well within the marked yellow zones. The air was cleaner for most. But now, cigarette-puffers huffed along cheerily at outdoor seating everywhere, blowing rings of deadly smoke all round, mocking the non-smoking stickers pasted on the tables, pillars, walls. Where have the officers gone?

III) And now that we have a dangerous, unrepentent, apparantly brainy, extreme fugitive on the run, instituitions are keeping a tight eye on their labs. Make sure everything is accounted for and no crucial ingredients are lost. We don't want things going up in flames, and more embarrassing news in the papers.

IV) Tomorrow will be the 3rd year anniversary. No matter how many years after, once my mum, always my mum. And memories will never die.