something to chew on

Attended a talk earlier this afternoon. Took home one soundbite - "When you feel like you are in Hell... Keep moving." Then the speaker said "Coz you don't want to be stuck in there.' Haha, I like that and will try to remember it when shit drops.

And the same eloquent spanish-african tall dude also suggested standing up when we need to work our brains hard - coz you think 30% faster when you stand than sit. And I'm typing this standing up right now. =P

On a totally different note - there is something that is starting to bother me... Small dark brown spots that look like moles are starting to pop up on my face in recent months. I wonder if it's the foundation powder.. or some underlying health issues.. I'm going to leave my face clear for the next few weeks and if the spots continue to appear.. I think I may have to go see a doc.. Can't be old age spots right, I'm still some way to qualifying age, or so I think.

United Airlines

I just watched UA 93 on vcd... Man.. I think it might have been a wrong choice. My brain is in knots now, coz too kan(2) chiong(1) as the movie unfolds I think. And wrong choice too coz I'd be taking UA in another mth's time... Holy cow. But hey... to see human courage at work against the bad/evil/wrong/misconstrued, it's liberating to some extent. Renews the faith in mankind somewhat.

Sept 11 - the day when everything changed.

And to those of you who are worried I've turned into some goggle-box nutcase, rest ur heart. I haven't touched the remote since that 7hr marathon. And today, it's only a single piece of vcd. No sweat.

It's 3 more weeks to the end of early-morning reporting ritual.

after the gathering

Good to see the familiar old crowd again. And yah man, I'm not hallucinating, the group is getting bigger as the years go by, as boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives join as supplementary members of our joy luck club. =) It's become almost like a tradition - for every "high-potential-candidate", there is this induction to the group, to see if they can take our craziness and unique wackiness and if it's green light go (as it's been for the past few additions), then yippee, the club has grown yet again. I wonder if our babies will be "inducted" the same way in the future as well. Haha. =)

In the middle of a lazy afternoon...

Sucking on a yucky lozenge and typing this entry. Just open-ceremonied the fruit juice blender and came up with salty juiced star-fruit. Supposed to soothe sore throat. Earlier in the afternoon, was a guai girl and faithfully cleaned the house. A weekly burn-calories routine.

Hours always pass faster during the weekends. Mid afternoon liao. Going to hop over to gathering soon. Volunteered to bring roast chicken to potluck. Hmmmm.. sounds bit weird hor.. but too lazy to cook anything authentic and bring over. =P

Switched back to good ole black specs for a while. The new ones are giving me a little pain behind the ears. Just like new shoes tend to give the back arch its broken skin. Some things don't change.

Fish, hope the party helped a bit. And u've got some leads after meeting with boss. And u've got some prog planned out for the weekend. Yalo whenever needed.

time out

Thursday was the last day of formal kiddo-land for all kiddos. Yeeeha. Actually felt liberated on that day (wonder why tho'... since the tension's actually gg linger till end of big 'A's @ end Nov =P). Anyways, celebrated it with couple of others with crystal jade's roast duck mee and paulaner brauhaus munich dark pour. Amazing how many hordes of ppl seem not to need to work on Fridays. And I thought the word 'party' only makes sense on weekends..

Anyways today, still emitting a bit too much inner heat for my comfort, I decided to give myself a big break from work. Trooped over to Vivo for a 2nd time (tho' I sorta proclaimed b4 there's nothing super great there to warrant a repeat visit), but this time is to bring my dad for 'exposure' so that he does not become a mountain mushroom. Upgraded his hp there and also tried out Carl's Burger (finally! but again.. nothing super great leh.. in fact, v expensive.. me sampled the charbroiled bbq chic burger set. think Burger King may still win my vote).

Then hopped over to IMM to collect the long-awaited orange-white specs. Hmmmm.. thought i looked more 'ginna' now... prob not a super bright idea on second thought. =P After that, it's 7hrs of non-stop black box time with my new glasses on - 2 DVDs plus chinese & english news... Just ended the marathon. Think I'm gg puke anytime soon. Hasn't done this for a long long time. Not used to such intense bum-flatting session. Think unexpectedly zapped quite a lot of energy off me..

Anyways, it's still only saturday tomorrow. Yeah. =) Got a gathering with sec 4 pallies. So maybe, it's another absolutely legitimate reason to put work off for another day. =P Work hard, Play hard, did I hear you say?

Over-sneezed

I think I may be falling sick. I over-sneezed today. From 10am, it's been non-stop tissue-swiping till now. My nosey's probably gg fall off soon. Despite a 1.5hr remedial nap just now. Perhaps it's the usual trigger of cold room-switch-hot room (temp fluctuation), aggravated by stress from that long long 'To Do' list. Whatever it is, I think... if I do not sleep early/well tonight, I'd probably lose the battle tomorrow. I... (ah-choo).. must... (ah-choo).. survive.

what now

And the skies have cleared. Hooray. Another sudden thunderstorm to bring down the suspended dust microns. PSI's comfortably sitting in the 40-ish range. Temp's down to a windy cool, best for cat-naps. More sprinklers please, MORE!

Oh, btw Happy Hari Raya. Go easy on the chicken rendang and kueh kuehs, you lucky non-muslim souls who got invited to our malay comrades' abodes today. I can't wait for my turn to come. I promise I won't ta(2) pao(1). *Hee*

Last night, for the first time (yep, go ahead and laugh out loud if u wish), I signed up as a VideoEzy member and borrowed 3 DVDs. Never knew they could be that effective in livening up bored creatures' lives. Supposed to meet up with some pals, but last min canceled (again), so on the spur of moment, decided to let Capote, Geisha and The Terminal follow me home all at once. My 4-mth old home theatre's finally put to good use. VideoEzy will see more of me.

I'm going to get a fruit blender later. Been ingesting too little fruits. What better way to force oneself (and spare my dad from nagging) than to mash them up into some creative, unrecognizable gooey milkshakes, then pour the whole Vit C-rich, antioxidant-rich, fibre-also-rich mixture into the oesophagus. Slurp. Yum (hopefullly).

bake-out

Nothing done today except lots of sneezing (yups, damn allergy again) and 3.5hrs of baking. A couple of piping hot trays of freshly baked PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE COOKIES and CORNFLAKES COOKIES - both new recipes from a new cookbook given by NY dodo. (My hp SD card reader's certified to have died.. impossible to upload tantalising pics for now. go ahead and send condolence wreaths if u wish. sighz..)

The peanut butter ones look professionally done - thick, rich and creamy, but maybe need a little more sugar. The cornflakes ones look ugly but actually taste nicer i think - cruncy on the outside but cake-like inside (not sure if it's meant to be like this tho... identity crisis).

Whatever it is, my pa is a happy man. He is my all-season cookie fan.

hair & more

Ho ho ho, it's the weekend!! Yippee, can sleep in. Hmmmm... yesterday's news said - weekends actually make ppl more tired when monday comes coz ppl tend to zzz late on friday nites and then zzz additional hrs on saturdays & sundays and their whole bio-rhythme get conked out. Ah.. But who really cares man?? It's the WEEKEND! And I'm gg do some baking this time round - had been putting my oven in cold freeze for past 2mths. Liberation time.

Oh, I've gotten my hair cut. And colored too. After 1.5yrs of jet black, I decided that life can do with a little more colour again. So tatas, a new head is born. Wait till I get my orange-white specs.

But man... that shampoo girl @ Fox on thurs evening... don't see her skinny skinny... when she rubbed that shampoo into my scalp, I swear she was thinking about and cursing some big-time enemy of hers, for I could literally feel her knuckles digging holes into my grey-white matter. And her fingers pressure-pressed at the acupoints so hard, it sent tingling shivers down the spine. It's painful, but admitedly pleasurable sometimes. Hmmm, never underestimate skinny shampoo gals.

Yeah, so looking forward to next week, it's gg to be a 3-day work week! Pray that the PSI stay in moderate (no chance of dipping into 'healthy') range, then we can start talking about some sun, sea and sand. Happy Deepa-raya to all fellow comrades of this potpourri red dot.

Let me see this sky again:

Morning talk

Another long day @ work yest. 13hrs man. Gila already. A 4hr meeting that started at 4pm.. chaired by myself. Ha.. I must be mad. But no one revolted yet. =P Anyways, I won't push my luck further, the subsequent meeting will not break the record.

Will be getting outta kiddo-land much earlier today for an interview @ some toh tuck institution, for some forum presentation. Hmmm.. hope we'd make it loh. Then, I'd probably pamper myself a bit by getting a therapeutic haircut. Make my head lighter, literally and figuratively.

Another 1 more mth to go before nurturers can nuah @ home legally! Ah man....

out and away

Am home. Had to get away from workplace and get some air (not that it's any better outside since PSI's been hovering ard 100+ these few days). Sometimes, we really need to step out before the sun sets, otherwise with a 12-hr daily schedule, IMH is but a few steps away.

Lugged work home to do nonetheless. Hope to clear them soon and then spend the night stoning in some cafe and read newspapers, alone (I wouldn't mind some gd company tho).

The MC list today has gotten longer. Heard one or two is down with some sort of vomitting and stomach pain. Hope the norovirus bug hasn't invaded our compounds. Not a bright idea to see our kiddo-land being featured on the newsy news eh.

no signal

too bad. the silly computer refuses to detect my SD card. clicked a few pics at Vivo earlier and wanted to share.. but no matter how i twist, turn, insert, push in the SD card, there is still no detection... haiz.. a pic tells a thousand words. too bad. u'd have to just live with my words. for now.

fri.. sat.. sun

Upstairs must have heard me whine... yesterday, after the sianz entry, spent the afternoon and evening walking around and ja-ga-ing the openhouse. It wasn't too bad afterall, considering many other kiddo-lands are also throwing open their gates. The counters clicked abt 700+ times. Groups of different-coloured uniforms roamed the grounds, livening up the place with their animated chatter. What really warmed the heart was (believe it or not) seeing how happy and comfortable my team's working with each other. Not one black impatient face I saw. Instead, many encouraging words and pats on the back, throughout the journey and especially when the curtains drew to a close. Thank Goddess of Mercy. Doesn't matter that we missed out a couple of nitty grits, it's as good as can be.

The kiddos' bbq that followed was equally heart-warming. Lots of chic wings - more than I can devour. Lots of black pepper prawns, sambal stingrays, otah, satay, hot dogs, marshmellows, bee hoon, chips, cake, ribena, sparklers, laughter, screams, hugs and photo-taking. I wonder if I had that much energy when I was their age. (My god, and I don't think I'm really that much older, am I??) But it made my friday night, which ended with moi self-toasting a Hoegaarden at home.

Today, stayed in to do some work, then went for an hr of badminton (yeah man, u read it right - I finally exercised), then being the typical kaypoh, deprived s'porean, I went to check out Vivo City's curves. Aiyoh... so many MANY people... not a huge variety of shops either... nothing super alluring abt the place. And it's not really as big as they say lah. U sure it's bigger than Suntec??? Hmmm... And most of the makan places at Vivo were not ready, so the entire crowd spilled over to Habourfront during dinner time.. Horrendous queues everywhere! Can feel my bld pressure rise as we dragged our wobbly legs in search of some place to eat/rest.

Saturday's over. Sunday's coming in about an hr's time... Argh.

UPdate

Uncle's better. Out of ICU and into general. Not so many tubes plugged into system. Color returning to his face. He can sit up and start to whisper some sense. So it's good. I am just thinking about the next time (much as I want to touch wood)...

Thank god it's friday. I am feeling pretty drained. Lack sleep. And I think.. lack recreation. Movies... Haven't watched any for the past 1.5mths. Shopping... Haven't really bought anything for a while (orange specs aside). Eating... think this is the only area that's been satisfied consistently. Not that it's a very healthy option anyways. Pa's away for a long stretch this week, and good pals are either dispersed all over the globe or busy or I've just met them or I don't feel like disturbing them. I guess I'm just digging a hole for myself to sink in. Crazy me. But tonight, there's a bbq... by kiddos in kiddo land. I'd be there.

Perhaps demolishing all their chic wings will lift my spirits. I'm quite sure they wouldn't mind.

Haiz... Sianz.

FRUITful day

Those kids... what would I have done without them?

Had a heart-melting episode today. This is the last week of official reporting for yr 2 kiddos, so for some of them, today's my last formal session with them. And this group... planned a suprise for moi. When I stepped in, on the whiteboard was scrawled "Dear Ms ... Today will be a fruitful day. Love, ..." And I retorted with, "Aiyah, with me around, everyday will be a fruitful day! What are you all talking about?" And then.. as I was about to launch into full-time nagging-scolding-pleading-cajoling-reasoning to get them to work their a** off, in rolled a trolley stacked full with the widest variety of fruits you can imagine, all with their own writings scrawled on them! There's banana, dragon fruit, papaya, apples, oranges, plum, lemon, lime, pumpkin, strawberries, pears, guavas, grapes, mango, star fruit, canned fruits too! My goodness... Stunned and touched into silence. Nearly wanted to bear hug every single one of them lah, this group of angels-demons.

One wrote: "An apple a day can keep the doctor away. Here's my apple to you, stay healthy so that you can give us more consultations." Haha. Funny lah you all.

The fruits were sweet. The messages sweeter. Their thoughts and appreciation sweetest. This is really the 'intangibles' that ppl in our profession are working for eh. No amount of Grow Package can replace that. Little wonder then, how some can survive for years as singles in this profession - kiddos' love can heal, soothe, cast light in darkness, and bring smiles to tired faces just as well as lovers' can.

uphill battle

Hands forcibly bound to bed, tubings tightly taped to skin (forehead included). Drastic measures to prevent him from pulling out all the pierced tubes and needles. Acts that degrade humanity. Frankly, I felt great anger and immense sadness. But I know... these are necessary actions and I must agree most reluctantly. Once the anesthetic wears off and consciousness sets in, he'd do only the most natural - to remove whatever is causing him utmost pain and discomfort. Really... who can blame him?

The breathing was audibly laborious. The respiratory tube was slowly accumulating gooey mucus stained with fresh red blood. The monitors blinked changing sets of complex data. Big-time deja vu.

Stepping into hospitals drained me of too much energy. No wonder I've never felt my age.

orange submarine

Good news

I got myself a new pair of specs earlier this afternoon. A youthful orange-white pair, with super-thin, UV-coated lenses for my ultra-myopic eyes. This shd be the most flashy, colorful pair I've ever had till now. Originally, I wanted a green-white-black combo. Too bad, the latter's shape doesn't fit my face. I am now S$360 poorer. It's sandwich days ahead.

Bad, Sad news

The phone call came in late afternoon. That terrible, familiar feeling is back. Uncle is in ICU again, this time with a tube inserted through nose to help him breathe.. and blood dialysis through his legs.. That same, old, dead feeling of dread mixed with helplessness is churning inside me again. 2 yrs ago, grandma. 1 yr ago mama and grandpa. I have a feeling...

Sometimes I wonder why the heavens made me the sentimental, family-centred person that I am; why give me relatives who love me much (and whom I love dearly in return) and then take them away; why bless them with good fortune yet bestow them with ill health; why make our paths cross yet prematurely end.. WHY MUST PAIN ALWAYS FOLLOW LOVE? The irony of life. A game? A joke? To surrender? Or to fight? (The same, old familiar questions, aren't they?)

In another 30 yrs time, I'm perhaps going to cause my younger loved ones the same agony. What a load of unavoidable shit.

dinner date

The dinner tonite with J was good. Yummy german food + great erdinger (of coz). And a wide-ranging, free-flowing, frank conversation (one of the best amongst the few we've had). Very good. This person can spar with me intellectually, so that's nice. Time passed easily. So yeah, I probably would be looking forward to more outings to come. But not too soon. J's flying off in couple of days' time and won't be back for some weeks. Good trip!

talking about songs

Tong En's new album (Do Not Cry) is very nice! Alrights, she shall join my "very nice singers" league, make friends with Zhang Huimei and Tanya Chua. Stephanie Sun used to be tops in this league, but recently when I play her songs, I feel more depressed than liberated... perhaps those songs brought back too many memories. Wonderful as she is, and unique as her vocals are, I have a feeling I'd not be playing her CDs as often anymore...

These few days, several close pals ard me are pretty down.. bogged down by work and family issues. I can only lend a listening ear and offer a warm squeeze on shoulder. In times of down, listen to your favorite songs mabbe? We can only look ahead.

back after so long

I probably should go get a nicer pair of specs and refrain from lenses for a while. Funnily, after the intensive marking's over, the left eyeball is in some sort of persistent aching pain... maybe a case of eye-overexhaustion.. hope it recovers soon. =(

Today, I found myself wandering the grounds of old jc and reminiscing the moments 10yrs ago (yeah man.. i can't believe it's that long ago either) when i was at the various corners of that lovely institution. Sitted love-struck on those unevenly stony steps watching a football game; busying "referencing" tutorials on those wooden benches; wolfing down food hungrily on those long canteen seats... was there to meet up with ex-colleague after a long, info-laden briefing at institution across the road.

Popped over to an aussie fish & chips place nearby, called "Mad Jacks", to grab dinner and chat. The mains were so-so but the cakes and pies were decent. At least it was a good end to a tiring day.

FINALLY

I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINISHED WITH RED PEN WIELDING!!!!!!!

NO MORE SORE EYES & TWITCHING LOWER EYE-LIDS FROM NITES OF DECIPHERING ILLEGIBLE HANDWRITING!

Yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =)

Finally, the end of the red pen cycle. Not to say that the battle is over. Far from it, we are now into the intensive revision mode - how to make the strong sustain, and the weak perform... It's no let-up till the last day of big 'A's. But at least... no more intensive, self-absorbed markety mark mark mark, 24-7.

I am going to celebrate. By going to the NATAS fair.

That is, after I do up the updated mark scheme.

Eee-YEAH!