mixed-up

damn it =P.

first email spam, then hp spam, now blog spam!? sigh, what is the world coming to..?

checked out some holland 3-room units yesterday. there's one that looks promising, going for S$188,000 (exclude upgrading costs of S$10,000 - S$12,000). but i'm actually feeling quite mixed-up now. felt it's a practical decision to make, but also felt like i'm letting mama down by deserting the place she chose and bought, and that we had lived in as a family for the past 13 yrs... i'm torn. and it's agonizing.

will be leaving for aust this wed nite, back only next wed nite. so there... sunnytears will update from the Land of Colours if she finds an internet cafe.

struck

oh dear... i think i'm "falling in infatuation".

i didn't know i'm still capable of that at my ripe old age, but i think i am starting to show signs of this adolescent puppy fascination for someone.

you know, there is this friend who can sing really well. his voice over the microphone is simply charming, and the way he caresses those words, so smoothly & full of emotions... i can feel my butter heart fluttering & melting into liquid oil. i am embarassed to admit - i am mesmerized. we've known each other for so long, but man, i didn't know he could sound this good singing! and besides, he's also great in sports. what a lethal combination. plus he's also patient, playful, and quite sensitive... oh dear.

but sigh. he's probably taken. with qualities like these, he could probably win over any decent lady's heart. even if he's not attached yet, he's probably had his own target & working hard towards it. and even, even, even if he hasn't a target yet, he would never think of big, fat, short, loud, and naggy sunnytears... sigh.

alrights, i'd just got to somehow suffocate this puppy infatuation of mine. perhaps there has got to be a restriction order of 10km away from mr charming crooner.

beer ladies

U know, there's something quite magical about swigging a beer together with girlfriends at some jazzy pubs. We would order dark german ale, munch on fried chic wings, eyeball cute waiter guys, lament about failed relationships/friendships, and bitch about terrible colleagues/bosses all at the same time. Or we can also just sit quietly and stone/reflect... until a new hot topic suddenly explodes out from within either's brain.

There's this german pub besides IndoChine at holland V where they serve a good assortment of light-dark beers, plus a whole range of yummy german specialities e.g. pork knuckles & chipolata sausages. Nice.

Then, there's another restaurant-pub off Dempsey drive. Quiet and away from the city's maddening hustle-bustle, with fire stands lining the entrance and century old trees hovering over your tables. Not bad, except the food menu's only so-so. But still a nice place to chill out on some brain-drained nights.

If you are a swinging single female, it's time to ring ur best female buddy & get her out this weekend to guzzle some ice-cold beer. Happy burping. Just remember to burn off those calories.

Living in Fear

Holy cow! The power of language.

Introducing "phobia" - a persistent, excessive, unrealistic fear of an object, animal or situation...

(from "Mind Your Body"):

THE A-Z OF FEAR

Achluophobia: Fear of darkness
Agliophobia: Fear of pain
Bacteriophobia: Fear of bateria
Brontophobia: Fear of thunder and lightning
Chiraptophobia: Fear of being touched
Claustrophobia: Fear of confined spaces
Didaskaleinophobia: Fear of going to school
Dysmorphophobia: Fear of deformity
Elurophobia: Fear of cats
Enochlophobia: Fear of crowds
Gamophobia: Fear of marriage
Gerascophobia: Fear of growing old
Haemaphobia: Fear of blood
Homophobia: Fear of sameness or homosexuality
Latrophobia: Fear of going to the doctor
Lachanophobia: Fear of vegetables
Necrophobia: Fear of death or dead things
Nelophobia: Fear of grass
Ophidiophobia: Fear of snakes
Ornithophobia: Fear of birds
Pediophobia: Fear of dolls
Paedophobia: Fear of children
Sciophobia: Fear of shadows
Scoleciphobia: Fear of worms
Thantophobia: Fear of dying
Zoophobia: Fear of animals

Sheesh... I never knew there could be such complicated words... and such unusual fears too.

Hmmm, am sure we all have our own pet fears... just don't let it/them devour ourselves & mutate into some life-crippling anxiety disorders loh. Good luck.

Me, my pet fear is:

Loved-ones-leave-me-phobia: Self-explanatory.

eye poor eye

hmmmm... i think something eeeky may be growing from within my eye. Yes... my eye. No... this is not a new kelvin tong's horror movie... Yes... i've cleaned my lens, rinsed it really well, used all-natural eye drops, wore specs instead of lens... but still, the uncomfortable feeling is there... persistently nagging away... grossing me out.

damn. i sure hope it is not some kind of infection (funny thing is the eye is not red nor swollen). and i hope it is not a sign of impending blindness... at least not so soon. sigh, with my super terrible myopic status (i like to think it is caused by bad genes than poor habits), it is only a matter of time before i need to learn to use braille. =(

sigh. sigh.

or HEY! maybe it's just overwork and a simple case of eye-strain, right?? RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT? so the solution is to take a break and let somebody else do my work for me yes?? YES? YES? so, any takers? for the sake of my eye, anyone???

yoo hoooooooo.......... help..............

work not enough

"Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition" - Jacques Barzun. To the 24,000+ educators out there on our tiny red dot, enjoy ur day next week.

Haiz, I'd be going on a working trip soon. To Australia to recee for some year end attachment program. Probably for 6 days or so. Well, yeah... it's nice & rare to be able to get away this time of the year, with a return sponsored ticket, but face it, working trip = stress + deadlines + follow-ups + results. Plus, this time, I'd be with my mister super fast-talking, direct & efficient supervisor throughout, meeting other highly knowledgeable souls. Surely, it'd be one hellava intense experience. I'm not sure I would not opt for a self-sponsored, fuss-free, brainless, eat-shop-relax trip by myself.

For sure, I'd be bringing my trusty red Panasonic Lumix along, to shoot colors from black-white monotones.

G'day mate.

diet management

very good loh.. at the rate i'm going, i'd die of heatiness very soon... or maybe my arteries would choke themselves to death first... or my blood pressure would shoot through brain roof earlier...

this weekend, my diet was so unhealthy, i have a feeling mama is shifting more than a little in her little heaven. pratas... bat kut teh... pig trotters... curry puffs... chicken chop... KFC... and i'm only talking about these 48hrs.

i'm feeling so super guilt-ridden now, i'm typing this with a big sheepish face as i wait for my 1 litre "liang teh" to be ready... sorry mama, arteries & veins, heart & body shape, i promise to exert more self-control when the next sat comes.

meantime, this coming week, i'd see if i can do some laps at the pool.

Cut the crap and save the lives

This weekend is more live-able. I am glad to finally have a little more space to breathe. Maybe, I'd slot in a bit of shopping or go watch that angsty movie, "Perth".

These few days, I am almost afraid to flip through those Forum pages in Straits Times. I am scared to find more articles published, describing 6hrs horror waits in A&E depts of public hospitals - paralysed fathers foaming at mouth while waiting for their hospital beds, brothers writhing in pain & risking complicated intestinal ruptures as they queued for their X-ray scans, sons & daughters anguished by the apparant lack of empathy & human compassion as senior docs forcibly encouraged 'an end to all that demeaning, needless suffering' by their elder members...

All these bring back hordes of depressing memories as I remember those terrible terrible times suffered by grandma, grandpa & mama in public hospitals... I'm also starting to fear for the future as papa, aunts & uncles start to really grow old and fall ill. I definitely wouldn't want any of my loved ones to be left forgotten in a miserable, cold corner, waiting for a disgusting stupid bed as he foam through his mouth, bleed through his ears and wait to breathe his last. Anyone deserves a more dignified death.

Train more nurses. Educate more doctors. Get only the truly commited to serve. Build bigger hospitals. Buy better equipment. Cut the crap and get to the action. Don't preach. Just do what you are here to do - SAVE LIVES. Don't tell us we had better let go, we make that decision ourselves. Meantime, please just go do what you ought to do, with a real and visible sense of urgency, compassion, and commitment. Don't just take the easy way out and apologize for long waits and 'inevitable' deaths.

Not easy to do? Well, nothing is easy on Earth. Period.

What the ...!!!

I'd like to think I am a gentle little goat... But today, I feel like breaking someone's legs.

That's right. I feel like I want to slap someone and then hang him upside down and watch him hyperventilate.

I think there is something really wrong with our youngsters of today. Some of them are so rude, so self-centred, so stubborn and so self-important that I really want to whack them. HARD. Like someone once told me, "pull out the fingernails and then rub salt into them". I felt like I'm ready to do it today. And rub in not just salt, but chilli too.

This young chap... is a snobbish little thing, with a really 'gangstery' standing/sitting posture, and a very 'heck-care' attitude that he wears on his face. He is openly defiant, and thinks almost everyone is prejudiced against him, and trying to make life difficult for him for their own conceited pleasures.

Patient reasoning doesn't work. He thinks you are play-acting, and trying to waste his time. Strict reprimanding doesn't work too. He thinks you are purposely picking on him, and he shuts you totally out.

Tolerance has its limits. This fella, he had better learn and CHANGE while he still has the chance to. If he is to step out into the cold, hard, working world with this stinking attitude, someone is sure to whack his butt off. Flatten his arse and cook piggie curry with it.

I'm sorry for having put you through all these abusive thoughts and language. It had been simmering for a while and somehow just boiled over today. I'm sorry.

Don't worry, that young chap is alive and well, all in one piece. I have not, and will not turn him into curry. Yet.

Sigh. Pueiz.

Are you scared??

It's the 7th lunar month eh? Okies, let me share this scary-diddy story with you. A friend sent it to me, and it scared the zits outta me.

"John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve. John saw the lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of tequila. He then started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was crying and.... wasn't drunk.

About 15 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub. They were also wet and out of breath. Looking around and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other,

"Look, Bruce.. here's the idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it."

Happy 7th lunar mth.

SMACK this irritating fly

I am yawning so hard, tears rain out of the eye sockets in large globs.

Alamak...... I AM SO TIRED! The brain is going into stand-by mode, and the stomach is whinning like some crazy cat. The joints are creaking from all the hours in wrong posture, and the face is sore like some million zits are going to erupt out of their mini volcanoes soon.

And today is only big bad tuesday! Haiz, liberation is still many days away.

Far away, this poster hangs... 'People are like tea bags. You have to put them into hot water before you know how strong they are.'

Tea? I can only think of an ice-cold Kilkeny now.

family

So there, Aug 27 will not be a public holiday. No contest, no polling, no duties for the thousands of presiding officers & counting assistants. Welcome back, Mr N.

No PE, no kick? Don't worry, GE's probably just round the corner. With those omnipresent pictorial banners of smiling MPs, media hype over PAP-WP-SDA "gentlemanly rivalry" in the various wards, and the redrawing of electoral boundaries... haiz, get ready to sharpen your 2B pencil to mark out crosses in boxes.

=================================================================
Yesterday, Big Uncle invited me to his humble abode for a homecooked meal. He must have missed his own children so much, he decided I'm a worthy 'substitute'. Not that I mind one bit, for I've always respected and loved him, & the fact that he cooks yummy dishes helps too (just kidding).

Anyway, yesterday over a perfectly simple but flavorful lunch of sweet corn & porkribs soup, minced meat omelette, and stir-fried kailan with mushrooms, Big Uncle did an unexpected. He thanked me, not once, not twice, but more four times over, for having popped by for lunch. HUH??? I thought I heard wrong the first time round. I should be the grateful one, isn't it? (and I sure am). His profuse expression of gratitude was unanticipated (& quite unncessary) and just, damn... makes it all very "xin(1) suan(1)" (literally translated as "heart sour"). From within his eyes, you can see this pain and great longing for his own estranged children to be there as well/instead. To hold his hand, to hear him talk, to tell him things are going to be all right and that he should continue his daily medication and not think negative thoughts, to tell him he is not forgotten nor abandoned and that they are going to be around for him as he age, and involve him in their lives' milestones, like when they land their first jobs, get married etc... This IS basic humanity, isn't it?

Next weekend, me and my aunt are going to arrange for a get-together meal. Hopefully, we can see a miracle happen.

Dare To Run

Aiyoh... Who hasn't made mistakes?

You know, I sort of sympathize with that kwan fella. Sure, only the best man should get the top job, and if you wanna run for the hot seat, you'd better make sure your linen are all quite clean and ready to be dug out & aired anytime... but really, as long as you are not God, you'd have made mistakes at some point in life. Surely there is no need for big-time character assassination & super obvious, orchestrated public comparison through print & tv, day in day out...

I do not know that mister personally, nor do I think I'd actually vote for him, but I think I'm beginning to understand why qualified people dare not run for top jobs. Every bit of grime could be dug out. As qualified ppl watch unqualified ppl run & get shot down, for sure, they'd be put off... Who'd want to run the risk of public humiliation, runied reputation & possible lawsuits? Hmmmm... the power of endorsement, by the right people.

Good luck to that mister & his family. It'd probably take another 6 yrs before a new case study comes along & we forget about this CFO.

back to nature

aloha all, looks like no one wanna tell me how he/she spent his/her national day evening... oh well... sighz

this morning, me & some colleagues decided to go burn off our well-accumulated blubber. set out on a 3hr return trek from bt timah's rifle range road to macritchie's treetop walk. clambered up the suspension bridge & tried to rock it down. did a spot of bird-watching & searched for the elusive ladybug. tolerated lame riddles as we skipped across pee-stained streams. finally rewarded ourselves for our exertion by polishing down chicken briyani, fried kway teow, mee soto, cheese pratas & plum ice-kacangs.

call this our post-NDP workout. you should try it sometime too.

no sweat.

40 yrs ago

Hwaaah. Did you get your Straits Times today?

(Oh, by the way, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY to you first!)

My goshie... That 160 page supplement is so thick & supple, I'm pretty sure it'd knock out any robber if I hit one on his/her head. Good loh, now there are many more makan & nature places to check out. =).

Well, almost every year on national day, our family would somehow end up eating steamboat/bbq at our balcony, while the national anthemn is playing, soldiers are matching, parachuters are floating & colorful human formations are unfolding from within our 29" tv set... but not from this year on i guess. It's no fun/meaning having 2pax steamboat mah. Half a dozen of fishballs & 10 prawns later, I'd most likely be full and think of puking like Merlion. I'd be using the next 5hrs to think of where to go for dinner. Anyone wanna save me with some einstein suggestions?

I know of a friend who'd most probably order her favorite KFC family meal & pig out in front of tv... Another friend would be having his beloved by his side as they lovey-dovey-ly go photograph those fireworks...

So how are you going to spend your national day evening?? Or if you are reading this after 8.30pm on 9th Aug, how have you spent yours?

maybe moving... maybe not

Aiyoh, life is such a joke sometimes eh. When you are so desperately looking for something, you'd just NOT find it. Yet the moment when you decide to forget about it, daa taah! it turns up at your doorstep. Crazy.

This same weird thing is happening to my house issue. You know, after mama went away, we thought we'd downgrade & switch to a smaller, easier-to-maintain place. Also thought it'd help to ease the pain a little, coz there's just too many memories in this 13 yr old flat we've all stayed in. We got an agent, we looked at flats in clementi, choa chu kang, bt panjang, bt batok, we put our apartment up for sale, pushed fliers into letterboxes, got it advertised in newspapers & etc etc etc BUT there was nothing. We didn't see anything that caught our fancy nor did our flat caught anyone's fancy. The rejection was mutual & the wait futile. Then last week, after 4 mths of going nowhere, we decided to, heck, just stay put & do an overhaul of our flat. Save all the trouble of packing & moving too.

Then today, over an extended family gathering, we got 2 offers dished out to us. One was a relative wanting to sell his own flat somewhere near bt merah. Another was some friend of a relative wanting to sell his holland road's flat. Being the ever-efficient father-daughter team, we reece both apartments today, just to get a feel. & I must say that the holland one looks promising. It's a small 3-room flat, but it's location is superb. It is simply NEXT to holland village. So now, we are (or at least I am) a little tempted again... Maybe we will move afterall. And if we do, & you decide you wanna pop by after your weekday/end rendezvous(es) at holland V, just dial sunnytears. At most, she'd charge rent.

Hey, u think we should move??

am back

Sighz, the kelong trip was off liao. That place super hot man... all full-house, booked till clean clean. So I guess I'd be stuck here this national day break then... perhaps I'd ask some kakis over to play noisy overnight mahjong... or have a durian party.

These past few days, I was down & out. Whacked left, right & centre by a malicious sore throat + cold bug. With ears blocked, eyes sore, & throat burning, it was pure torture getting the hours to pass before I can hit the bed again at the end of each day. Anyway, thank Buddha I feel better today, well enough to join some of my primary school pals for a KFC + badminton + karaoke gathering. Yah, u read right, it's KFC & KARAOKE. First, that "shrooms" burger + chic combo meal was such a temptation... I succumbed. Blame that Colonel & his finger-licking recipe. Next, I concluded it's not everyday that you get to scream ur lungs hoarse with pri sch pals, so I thought heck, just do it lah. Blame K-box & Partyworld for their omnipresence. Anyway, after all that indulgence, I'm happy to announce that, despite ending up with an even-more-stressed-out throat (i think even a whole pharmacy of strepsils also cannot save me anymore), I'm a much happier & liberated gal.

Anyway, it's the lunar seventh month now. We are going into the 3rd day. Mama used to remind me during such months: 1) don't stay out too late, 2) don't say the wrong things, 3) don't go into the sea, & 4) don't step on joss paper, and all will be fine. I'd be listening to mama, so hope you would too. Afterall, I'd want you to be well & continue to read my blog. =)

Erhmm... happy seventh lunar mth? =P

No lah, seriously. Happy National Day in advance.

CHECK THIS OUT!

Anyone game for a relaxing m'sia kelong get-away over this national day break, coming mon afternoon-wed evening?? =)

I've got a wonderful lobang, SGD$69 for 2D1N, with extension at SGD$38 per night for a stay at rustic kelong located in middle of Sibu sea, between Kota Tinggi & Mersing. Price includes lodging, 5meals/day (include seafood lunches & dinners), all sea transport, free flow kopi/tea, recreational activities e.g. mahjong, carom, cable tv, island hopping, beach volleyball etc. Karaoke, playstation & boat fishing also available for small fee. Of course, there's always the star-gazing & snorkeling! =)

So how how?? Anyone interested? I'd be going with 2 or 3 colleagues (attractive, non-threatening ladies & gentlemen), so if any of you is also game to get away from the city hustle bustle, leave me a comment before 12 midnight today!! Depending on our final grp size, we may also get organized transport to cover our land travel from s'pore all the way to mersing. =)

Quickly come! It'd be quite relaxing I think. I promise to sing Majulah Singapura with you on National Day night lah.

In the dead of the night...

This is such a big torture... To wrench oneself up & away from that big pile of nicely-warmed blankets in the middle of cold, quiet night, and drag one's heavy feet to that non-living computer, then focus one's panda eyes on that blurry flickering screen, and try to type something intelligent as the whole estate snores at 3am... Sigh... What kinda life is this?? Haiz... coming from a well-honed workaholic, it must be age catching up or something... The recovery period after each of these unholy escapades is getting longer... I'd better stop all these nonsense before chronic fatigue sets in & I check myself into some institute.

Happy sleeping you lucky piglets..... ZZZzzzzzz...

Bye Bye Getz...

Yeah Yeah!! We are going to change our car. =)

COE prices have been dipping steadily, and are now at a nice new low, so papa (and several of my uncles & aunties) thinks it's the right time to change our vroom-vroom. To upgrade it from a cosy, affordable but no-power Hyundai Getz, to a bigger, more stable & better resale-value Nissan Sunny. Yah... our monthly premium (& perhaps petrol expenses) is going to shoot up a little... but the wise ones say, in the long run, it's a better investment with Sunny's depreciation rate falling less quickly than that of Getz.

Well, I guess mum would have approved. So here's looking forward to its arrival!

p.s. Damn... I'd better work on my license soon. Buy, steal or beg. I have to get one quick. But I'm such a big road hazard... I think if I drive, I'd have to switch on the car's hazard lights throughout. Sigh... =P. Anyone with good driving instructor to reccommend?